Movie quotes

"Oh, without, please."

These are mostly movie quotes, but there are some quotes from TV shows, as well. I've tried to avoid quotes that require explanation, but there are some that slipped through the cracks (the Worf-Alexander conversation over there in "S," well, you just had to see the episode). They're mostly funny ones, but there's a few more serious ones. Many movies deserve to have their entire script in here, but I've imposed a limit of no more than three from any given source. Enjoy! And please, if you notice an error, please let me know (email address can be found in the Personal section). In the years since IMDB started allowing people to submit quotes, it's gotten harder to find the original wording if you don't own a movie.

"Caution: some quotes contain language." Snicker.

Note : Quotes with their source marked with an * come from something that has been (probably clumsily) translated from Japanese.

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War Games

David

How about Global Thermonuclear War?

Joshua

Wouldn't you prefer a good game of chess?

We Were Soldiers

Lt. Col. Moore

Our Father in Heaven, before we go into battle, every soldier among us will approach you each in his own way. Our enemies too, according to their own understanding, will ask for protection and for victory. And so, we bow before your infinite wisdom. We offer our prayers as best we can. I pray you watch over the men like young Jack Geoghegan here that I lead into battle. You use me as your instrument in this awful hell of war to watch over them. Especially if they're men like this one beside me,

2nd Lt. Geoghegan

Amen.

Lt. Col. Moore

Amen. ... Oh, and Lord, one more thing, about our enemies, ignore their heathen prayers and help us blow those bastards straight to Hell. Amen.

Lt. Col. Moore

I wonder what Custer was thinking, when he realized he'd moved his men into slaughter.

Sgt. Maj. Plumley

Sir, Custer was a pussy.

West Wing

Ainsley Hayes

I'd like to do well on this, my first assignment; any advice you could give me that might point the way of success would be, by me, appreciated.

Lionel Tribbey

Well, not speaking in iambic pentameter might be a step in the right direction.

Nancy McNally

Let's attack.

Fitzwallace

Who?

Nancy McNally

Qumar. Let's recommend to the President that we attack.

Fitzwallace

Why?

Nancy McNally

'Cuz I've had it.

Fitzwallace

I don't think the UN will let us do it for that reason.

Nancy McNally

That's cuz you're a sissy. You want peace in the Middle East? Give me a pair of third generation ICBMs and a compass!

When Harry Met Sally

Harry

The fact that you're not answering leads me to believe that (a) You're not home, (b) You're home but you don't want to talk to me, or (c) You're home, desperately want to talk to me, but you're trapped under something heavy. If it's either (a) or (c), please give me a call.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit

Roger

Well, you see, I didn't know where your office was. So I asked the newsboy. He didn't know. So I asked the fireman, green grocerier, the butcher, the baker; they didn't know. But the liquor store guy. He knew.

Judge Doom

You lack vision. But I see a place where people get on and off the freeway. On and off, off and on all day, all night! Soon, where Toon Town once stood will be a string of gas stations, inexpensive motels, restaurants that serve rapidly prepared food. Tire salons, automobile dealerships and wonderful, wonderful billboards reaching as far as the eye can see! My God, it'll be beautiful!

Wild Wild West

James West

Gordon, when you tell this story to your grandkids, you be sure to leave this part out.

Artemus Gordon

We have the element of surprise. What does Loveless have? ... He has his own city.

James West

He has an 80-foot tarantula.

Artemus Gordon

I was just coming to that.

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Willy Wonka

You get nothing! You lose! Good day, sir!

Wonder Boys

James Leer

It's just... for good luck. Some people carry rabbits' feet...

Grady

You carry firearms.

Grady

I've got tenure.

World is not Enough

James Bond

If you're Q, does that make him R?

R

Ah yes, the legendary 007 wit; or at least half of it.

Valentin

I'm looking for a submarine! It's big and black and the driver is a good friend of mine!

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