Movie quotes

"Have you lost your mind?"

These are mostly movie quotes, but there are some quotes from TV shows, as well. I've tried to avoid quotes that require explanation, but there are some that slipped through the cracks (the Worf-Alexander conversation over there in "S," well, you just had to see the episode). They're mostly funny ones, but there's a few more serious ones. Many movies deserve to have their entire script in here, but I've imposed a limit of no more than three from any given source. Enjoy! And please, if you notice an error, please let me know (email address can be found in the Personal section). In the years since IMDB started allowing people to submit quotes, it's gotten harder to find the original wording if you don't own a movie.

"Caution: some quotes contain language." Snicker.

Note : Quotes with their source marked with an * come from something that has been (probably clumsily) translated from Japanese.

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Simon Templar

My name is Bruno Hautenfaust. I was named for a saint who was a very wealthy man. Had the wines, the womens, the songs, the whole bit. And then, inexplicably, took a vow of poverty and went off to live in the forest as a hermit. In the nude.

Ivan Tretiak

Please, leave.

Saving Private Ryan

Pvt. Reiben

Sorry, sir, but let's say you weren't a Captain, or maybe I was a Major. What would you say then?

Capt. Miller

In that case, I'd say this is an excellent mission, sir, with an extremely valuable objective, sir. Worthy of my best efforts, sir. Moreover, I feel heartfelt sorrow for the mother of Private James Ryan and am willing to lay down the lives of me and my men - especially you, Reiben - to ease her suffering.

Say Anything

Lloyd Dobler

I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that.

Scent of a Woman

Lt. Col. Frank Slade

When in doubt, fuck.

Scorpion King


Get ready. I'll kill half, you kill half.


William Somerset

Anyone who spends a significant amount of time with me finds me disagreeable.

William Somerset

This guy's methodical, exacting, and worst of all, patient.

David Mills

He's a nut-bag! Just because the fucker's got a library card doesn't make him Yoda!



I am a leaf on the wind... watch how I soar.

Shawshank Redemption


And that's how it came to pass that on the second-to-last day of the job, the convict crew that tarred the plate factory roof in the spring of forty-nine wound up sitting in a row at ten o'clock in the morning drinking icy cold, Bohemia-style beer, courtesy of the hardest screw that ever walked a turn at Shawshank State Prison.

Captain Hadley

Drink up while it's cold, ladies.


The collosal prick even managed to sound magnanimous.


The Donkey

Oh no! I can't feel my toes. ...I don't have any toes!! I need a hug.

Silence of the Lambs

Hannibal Lecter

Oh, Clarice, your problem is you need to get more fun out of life.

Six Feet Under


This is Brenda... my... girlfriend.


I prefer the term "fuck puppet."

Six String Samurai


If I were you, I'd run!


If you were me, you'd be good-looking.

Sixth Sense


We were supposed to draw a picture, anything we wanted. I drew a man who got hurt in the neck by another man with a screwdriver. Everyone got upset. They had a meeting. Mom started crying. I don't draw like that any more.


How do you draw now?


I draw... people smiling, dogs running, rainbows. They don't have meetings about rainbows.

Sleepy Hollow

Ichabod Crane

Did you move the body?

Dr. Thomas Lancaster


Ichabod Crane

You must NEVER move the body.

Dr. Thomas Lancaster


Ichabod Crane

... Because.



Fuck me, hold tight. What's that?


It's me belt, Turkish.


No, Tommy. There's a gun in your trousers. What's a gun doing in your trousers?


It's for protection.


Protection from what?! Zee Germans??



Cattle mutilations are up.

Donald Crease




So I Married an Axe Murderer


Woman... woe, man... whoooa-man. She was a thief, you got to believe, she stole my heart... and my cat...


We've got a piper down! I repeat, the piper is DOWN!


Peter Parker

Go web! Fly! Up, up, and away, web! Shazam! Web it!

Peter Parker

Mr. Jameson, you can't say that.. that's slander.


No it isn't, and I resent that! Slander is spoken, in print it's libel.

Spy Who Loved Me

James Bond

Oh, thanks for deserting me back there.

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home


Oh, joy.

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier


Excuse me, but what does God need with a starship?

Star Trek VIII: First Contact

Emergency Medical Hologram

According to Starfleet medical research, Borg implants can cause severe skin irritations. Perhaps you'd like an analgesic cream?

Star Trek: Next Generation


You wrote this program yourself?


Lieutenant Barkley helped me.

Star Wars : A New Hope

Han Solo

I don't know, I can imagine quite a bit.

Han Solo

Uh...had a slight weapons malfunction. But, uh, everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here... now... thank you. How are you?


Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?


But I was going to Taschi Station to pick up some power convertors!

Star Wars : Attack of the Clones


You wanna buy some death sticks?


You don't want to sell me death sticks.


I don't wanna sell you death sticks.


You want to go home and re-think your life.


I want to go home and re-think my life.

Star Wars : Return of the Jedi


It's against my programming to impersonate a deity.

Star Wars : The Empire Strikes Back


Do, or do not. There is no "try."

Star Wars : The Phantom Menace


Credits will do fine.


No, they won'ta. What? You think you're some kind of Jedi, waving your hand around like that?


The ablilty to speak does not make you intelligent.

Stargate: SG1

Colonel Jack O'Neill

Hammond is insisting SG1 needs a socio-political nerd to offset our overwhelming coolness.

Starship Troopers

Johnny Rico

I'm from Buenos Aires, and I say kill 'em all!


Everyone fights, no one quits. If you don't do your job, I'll shoot you myself.



Do you know what's scarier than not believing in God? Believing in him. I mean, really fucking believing in him is terrifying because if there is a God, he hates me.

Strange Days


This is what we laughingly refer to as a plan, right?


Cheer up. The world's about to end in ten minutes anyway.

Suicide Kings


The gun again. Can't you guys just play nice?


Guys, if I don't bleed to death pretty soon, I'm gonna die of boredom.

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