Movie quotes

My name is Bruno Hautenfaust. I was named for a saint who was a very wealthy man. Had the wines, the womens, the songs, the whole bit. And then, inexplicably, took a vow of poverty and went off to live in the forest as a hermit. In the nude.

Please, leave.

Sorry, sir, but let's say you weren't a Captain, or maybe I was a Major. What would you say then?

In that case, I'd say this is an excellent mission, sir, with an extremely valuable objective, sir. Worthy of my best efforts, sir. Moreover, I feel heartfelt sorrow for the mother of Private James Ryan and am willing to lay down the lives of me and my men - especially you, Reiben - to ease her suffering.

I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that.

When in doubt, fuck.

Get ready. I'll kill half, you kill half.

Anyone who spends a significant amount of time with me finds me disagreeable.

He's a nut-bag! Just because the fucker's got a library card doesn't make him Yoda!

I am a leaf on the wind... watch how I soar.

And that's how it came to pass that on the second-to-last day of the job, the convict crew that tarred the plate factory roof in the spring of forty-nine wound up sitting in a row at ten o'clock in the morning drinking icy cold, Bohemia-style beer, courtesy of the hardest screw that ever walked a turn at Shawshank State Prison.

Drink up while it's cold, ladies.

The collosal prick even managed to sound magnanimous.

Oh no! I can't feel my toes. ...I don't have any toes!! I need a hug.

Oh, Clarice, your problem is you need to get more fun out of life.

This is Brenda... my... girlfriend.

I prefer the term "fuck puppet."

If I were you, I'd run!

If you were me, you'd be good-looking.

We were supposed to draw a picture, anything we wanted. I drew a man who got hurt in the neck by another man with a screwdriver. Everyone got upset. They had a meeting. Mom started crying. I don't draw like that any more.

How do you draw now?

I draw... people smiling, dogs running, rainbows. They don't have meetings about rainbows.

Did you move the body?

Yes.

You must NEVER move the body.

Why?

... Because.

Fuck me, hold tight. What's that?

It's me belt, Turkish.

No, Tommy. There's a gun in your trousers. What's a gun doing in your trousers?

It's for protection.

Protection from what?! Zee Germans??

Cattle mutilations are up.

Don't.

Sorry.

Woman... woe, man... whoooa-man. She was a thief, you got to believe, she stole my heart... and my cat...

Go web! Fly! Up, up, and away, web! Shazam! Web it!

No it isn't, and I resent that! Slander is spoken, in print it's libel.

Oh, thanks for deserting me back there.

Oh, joy.

Excuse me, but what does God need with a starship?

According to Starfleet medical research, Borg implants can cause severe skin irritations. Perhaps you'd like an analgesic cream?

You wrote this program yourself?

Lieutenant Barkley helped me.

But I was going to Taschi Station to pick up some power convertors!

You wanna buy some death sticks?

You don't want to sell me death sticks.

I don't wanna sell you death sticks.

You want to go home and re-think your life.

I want to go home and re-think my life.

It's against my programming to impersonate a deity.

Do, or do not. There is no "try."

Credits will do fine.

No, they won'ta. What? You think you're some kind of Jedi, waving your hand around like that?

Hammond is insisting SG1 needs a socio-political nerd to offset our overwhelming coolness.

I'm from Buenos Aires, and I say kill 'em all!

Do you know what's scarier than not believing in God? Believing in him. I mean, really fucking believing in him is terrifying because if there is a God, he hates me.

This is what we laughingly refer to as a plan, right?

Cheer up. The world's about to end in ten minutes anyway.

The gun again. Can't you guys just play nice?