Movie quotes

"There is a television behind the El Greco. Sadly, the remote has vanished from the material sphere! So it's stuck on Animal Planet."

These are mostly movie quotes, but there are some quotes from TV shows, as well. I've tried to avoid quotes that require explanation, but there are some that slipped through the cracks (the Worf-Alexander conversation over there in "S," well, you just had to see the episode). They're mostly funny ones, but there's a few more serious ones. Many movies deserve to have their entire script in here, but I've imposed a limit of no more than three from any given source. Enjoy! And please, if you notice an error, please let me know (email address can be found in the Personal section). In the years since IMDB started allowing people to submit quotes, it's gotten harder to find the original wording if you don't own a movie.

"Caution: some quotes contain language." Snicker.

Note : Quotes with their source marked with an * come from something that has been (probably clumsily) translated from Japanese.

< Prev 'D' Next >

Dazed and Confused


That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.

Dead Like Me


Do you really care? About what happens to me?


Of course. I just make my face like this, and the concerned words come out.

Dead Poets Society

John Keating

We're not laughing at you... we're laughing near you.

Death to Smoochy

Rainbow Randolph

Bastard son of Barney! Die! Die, stuffed ball of fluff! Illegitimate Teletubby! Die, you muppet from hell! Die, you foam motherfucker!


Okay, now let's go pray and get shitfaced.

Deep Impact

Jenny Lerner

When I was 11, I stole $32 from your wallet.

Jason Lerner

When you were a baby I once dropped you on your head.



What's the fine print?


Stopacoupleofangels fromenteringandthus negatingallexistence. Damn, this is good tequila.


Wait, wait, wait. Repeat that.


"Damn, this is good tequila"?


The first part.


Details. Stop a couple of angels from entering and thus negating all existence. God, I hate when people need it spelled out for them.

Donnie Darko


Donnie Darko... What the hell kind of name is that? It's like some sort of superhero or something.


What makes you think I'm not?

Principal Cole

So... Let's go over this again. What exactly did you say to Ms. Farmer?


I'll tell you what he said!! He asked me to forcibly insert the lifeline exercise card into my anus!!


Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion!!

Dr. No

Dr. No

East, west, just points of the compass, each as stupid as the other.

Dr. Strangelove

President Merkin Muffley

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here, this is the war room!

Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story

Linda Emery

A philosophy major? Now, what can you do with a philosophy major?

Bruce Lee

You can think deep thoughts about being unemployed.

< Prev 'D' Next >