Movie quotes
"Mrgh... Bats are nocturnal!"
These are mostly movie quotes, but there are some quotes from TV shows, as well. I've tried to avoid quotes that require explanation, but there are some that slipped through the cracks (the Worf-Alexander conversation over there in "S," well, you just had to see the episode). They're mostly funny ones, but there's a few more serious ones. Many movies deserve to have their entire script in here, but I've imposed a limit of no more than three from any given source. Enjoy! And please, if you notice an error, please let me know (email address can be found in the Personal section). In the years since IMDB started allowing people to submit quotes, it's gotten harder to find the original wording if you don't own a movie.
"Caution: some quotes contain language." Snicker.
Note : Quotes with their source marked with an * come from something that has been (probably clumsily) translated from Japanese.
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Rain Man | |
Raymond |
I'm an excellent driver. |
Real Genius | |
Chris |
You didn't touch anything, did you? |
Mitch |
No. |
Chris |
Good. Because all of my filth is arranged in alphabetical order. This, for instance, is under "H" for "toy." |
Chris |
This. This is ice. This is what happens to water when it gets too cold. This. This is Kent. This is what happens to people when they get too sexually frustrated. |
Chris |
Would you be prepared if gravity reversed itself? |
Mitch |
I, well... |
Chris |
The only thing I can't figure out is how to keep the change in my pockets- I've got it: nudity. |
Red Dragon | |
Will |
I don't have much time! |
Hannibal |
Oh, but I do! I have oodles! |
Red Dwarf | |
Holly |
When you've had the glory of a 4-figure IQ, of course it bothers you when you lose 793 consecutive games to a smegging toaster! |
Kryten |
That was an important speech sir, and it needed to be made, but might I suggest that from this moment on the rest of this discourse is conducted by those with brains larger than a grape? |
Rimmer |
But a black hole's a huge, compacted star! It's millions of miles wide! Why didn't you see it on the radar screen? |
Holly |
Well, the thing about a black hole - its main distinguishing feature - is it's black. And the thing about space, your basic space color... is black. So how are you supposed to see them? |
Reign of Fire | |
Creedy |
The only thing worse than dragons. Americans. |
Road to Perdition | |
Michael Jr. |
So when do I get my share of the money? |
Michael |
How much do you want? |
Michael Jr. |
Two hundred dollars! |
Michael |
Okay. Deal. |
Michael Jr. |
... Could I have had more? |
Michael |
You'll never know. |
Roswell | |
Maria |
You were on your way to being, like, a world-renowned scientist! And I was going to be your wacky friend! OK? But where does this leave me?? I can't be the wacky friend to someone who's already wacky! |
Ruthless People | |
Sandy |
He wouldn't pay. Then we asked for $100,000. He still wouldn't pay. So now we're lowering our price to $50,000. |
Barbara |
I'm being marked down?!? Oh, God, I've been kidnapped by K-Mart! |
Lt. Bender |
GIVE THE BAG TO BOZO, DROP THE GUN, AND PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR. |
Earl Mott |
Who said that?! |
Lt. Bender |
IT'S THE POLICE DEPARTMENT. |
Earl Mott |
Really? |
Lt. Walters |
This could very well be the stupidest person on the face of the earth. Perhaps we should shoot him. |
Lt. Bender |
NO! WE'RE THE NATIONAL RIFLE ASSOCIATION! |