Movie quotes
"I'm the ultimate bad-ass! State of the Bad-Ass-R! You don't want to mess with me! Check it out! Independently targeting particle beam phalanx. Fry an entire city with this puppy! We've got tactical smart missiles. Phase plasma pulse rifles, RPGs! We've got sonic electronic ball breakers. We've got nukes, we've got knives... sharp sticks!"
These are mostly movie quotes, but there are some quotes from TV shows, as well. I've tried to avoid quotes that require explanation, but there are some that slipped through the cracks (the Worf-Alexander conversation over there in "S," well, you just had to see the episode). They're mostly funny ones, but there's a few more serious ones. Many movies deserve to have their entire script in here, but I've imposed a limit of no more than three from any given source. Enjoy! And please, if you notice an error, please let me know (email address can be found in the Personal section). In the years since IMDB started allowing people to submit quotes, it's gotten harder to find the original wording if you don't own a movie.
"Caution: some quotes contain language." Snicker.
Note : Quotes with their source marked with an * come from something that has been (probably clumsily) translated from Japanese.
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O Brother, Where Art Thou | |
Pete |
Wait a minute. Who elected you leader of this outfit? |
Ulysses Everett McGill |
Well Pete, I figured it should be the one with the capacity for abstract thought. But if that ain't the consensus view, then hell, let's put it to a vote. |
Ulysses Everett McGill |
Pete, the personal rancor reflected in that remark I don't intend to dignify with comment. |
Ocean's Eleven | |
Danny Ocean |
There's a ninety-five pound Chinese man with a hundred sixty million dollars behind this door. |
Linus |
Let's get him out |
Office Space | |
Samir |
No! Not again! Why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam! I swear to God one of these days I'm just going to kick this piece of shit out of the window! |
Michael |
PC load letter! What the fuck does that mean? |
Milton |
And yes, I won't be leaving a tip, 'cause I could... I could shut this whole resort down. Sir? I'll take my traveler's checks to a competing resort. I could write a letter to your board of tourism and I could have this place condemned. I could put... I could put... strychnine in the guacamole. There was salt on the glass, BIG grains of salt. |
Others | |
Anne |
I don't believe that the Holy Spirit is a dove. |
Nicholas |
I don't believe that either. |
Anne |
Doves are anything but holy. |
Nicholas |
They poo on the window. |