Movie quotes

"Y'know, this was supposed to be my weekend off, but noooo. You got me out here draggin' your heavy ass through the burnin' desert with your dreadlocks stickin' out the back of my parachute. You gotta come down here with an attitude, actin' all big and bad... and what the hell is that SMELL?? I could've been at a barbecue! But I ain't mad."

These are mostly movie quotes, but there are some quotes from TV shows, as well. I've tried to avoid quotes that require explanation, but there are some that slipped through the cracks (the Worf-Alexander conversation over there in "S," well, you just had to see the episode). They're mostly funny ones, but there's a few more serious ones. Many movies deserve to have their entire script in here, but I've imposed a limit of no more than three from any given source. Enjoy! And please, if you notice an error, please let me know (email address can be found in the Personal section). In the years since IMDB started allowing people to submit quotes, it's gotten harder to find the original wording if you don't own a movie.

"Caution: some quotes contain language." Snicker.

Note : Quotes with their source marked with an * come from something that has been (probably clumsily) translated from Japanese.

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Cabin Boy

Nathaniel Mayweather

Did I mention I have an incredible crush on you?


That's wonderful! I'm always flattered when a psychotic becomes smitten with me.

Casino Royale

Vesper Lynd

It doesn't bother you? Killing all those people?

James Bond

Well, I wouldn't be very good at my job if it did.

Cast Away

Chuck Noland

Gotta love crab. In the nick of time too. I couldn't take much more of those coconuts. Coconut milk is a natural laxative. That's something Gilligan never told us.

Chicken Run


You mean you weren't the pilot?


Good heavens, no! I'm a CHICKEN! The Royal Air Force doesn't allow chickens behind the controls of complex aircraft!

Citizen Kane

Walter Thatcher

You're still the college boy, aren't you?

Charles Kane

Oh no, Mr. Thatcher. I was expelled from college - a lot of colleges. You remember.


Well versed in the natural sciences and mathematics. She speaks seven languages proficiently. Were she not a woman one would consider her to be an intellectual.



I'm not even supposed to be here today!



Woman, lend me five dollars.


Murray, I have asked you repeatedly not to call me "woman."


Excuse me, Miss Deion.


Thank you.


Alright, but street slang is an increasingly valid form of expression. Most of the feminine pronouns do have mocking, but not necessarily mysogynistic, undertone.


So, the flannel shirt deal. Is that a nod to the crispy Seattle weather or are you just trying to stay warm in the refrigerator?

Con Air

Billy Bedform

Have you lost your mind?

Cyrus Grissom

According to my last psych evaluation... yes.

Cameron Poe

There are only two men I trust. One is me, the other is not you.

Conspiracy Theory


Why is this thing safe for me and not for my keys?


Serial killers. Serial killers only have two names. You ever notice that? But lone gunmen assassins, they always have three names. John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald, Mark David Chapman...


John Hinckley. He shot Reagan. He only has two names.


Yeah, but he only just shot Reagan. Reagan didn't die. If Reagan had died, I'm pretty sure we probably would all know what John Hinckley's middle name was.


FBI Agent

We'd be grateful if you could join us, for a ride, sir.


And if I were to say no? Just askin'.

FBI Agent

We have no sense of humor.


It's true.

FBI Agent

And we're armed.


Okay, if I decide to do this... I'm going to need an unlimited supply... of Xena tapes and Hot Pockets.

General Purcell

Hot Pockets.


They help me concentrate.

Count of Monte Cristo


And if I kill him and refuse to be a smuggler?


Then we slit your throat and are a bit short-handed.


... I have decided that the life of a smuggler is the one for me and that I would be happy to kill your friend the maggot.


Right. We kill these people, then we spend the treasure.


No, we will study them. Learn their weaknesses.


Why not just kill them? I'll do it. I'll run up to Paris... bam, bam, bam, bam! I'm back before week's end. We spend the treaure. How is this a bad plan?

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon


All this trouble for a comb?


It's mine. It means a lot to me. A barbarian like you wouldn't understand.


I can use it to pick fleas from my horse.

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