Movie quotes

"And try not to spill it all on your way back, you Marxist bastard!"

These are mostly movie quotes, but there are some quotes from TV shows, as well. I've tried to avoid quotes that require explanation, but there are some that slipped through the cracks (the Worf-Alexander conversation over there in "S," well, you just had to see the episode). They're mostly funny ones, but there's a few more serious ones. Many movies deserve to have their entire script in here, but I've imposed a limit of no more than three from any given source. Enjoy! And please, if you notice an error, please let me know (email address can be found in the Personal section). In the years since IMDB started allowing people to submit quotes, it's gotten harder to find the original wording if you don't own a movie.

"Caution: some quotes contain language." Snicker.

Note : Quotes with their source marked with an * come from something that has been (probably clumsily) translated from Japanese.

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Cabin Boy

Nathaniel Mayweather

Did I mention I have an incredible crush on you?

Trina

That's wonderful! I'm always flattered when a psychotic becomes smitten with me.

Casino Royale

Vesper Lynd

It doesn't bother you? Killing all those people?

James Bond

Well, I wouldn't be very good at my job if it did.

Cast Away

Chuck Noland

Gotta love crab. In the nick of time too. I couldn't take much more of those coconuts. Coconut milk is a natural laxative. That's something Gilligan never told us.

Chicken Run

Ginger

You mean you weren't the pilot?

Fowler

Good heavens, no! I'm a CHICKEN! The Royal Air Force doesn't allow chickens behind the controls of complex aircraft!

Citizen Kane

Walter Thatcher

You're still the college boy, aren't you?

Charles Kane

Oh no, Mr. Thatcher. I was expelled from college - a lot of colleges. You remember.

Cleopatra

Well versed in the natural sciences and mathematics. She speaks seven languages proficiently. Were she not a woman one would consider her to be an intellectual.

Clerks

Dante

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Clueless

Murray

Woman, lend me five dollars.

Deion

Murray, I have asked you repeatedly not to call me "woman."

Murray

Excuse me, Miss Deion.

Deion

Thank you.

Murray

Alright, but street slang is an increasingly valid form of expression. Most of the feminine pronouns do have mocking, but not necessarily mysogynistic, undertone.

Cher

So, the flannel shirt deal. Is that a nod to the crispy Seattle weather or are you just trying to stay warm in the refrigerator?

Con Air

Billy Bedform

Have you lost your mind?

Cyrus Grissom

According to my last psych evaluation... yes.

Cameron Poe

There are only two men I trust. One is me, the other is not you.

Conspiracy Theory

Jerry

Why is this thing safe for me and not for my keys?

Jerry

Serial killers. Serial killers only have two names. You ever notice that? But lone gunmen assassins, they always have three names. John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald, Mark David Chapman...

Alice

John Hinckley. He shot Reagan. He only has two names.

Jerry

Yeah, but he only just shot Reagan. Reagan didn't die. If Reagan had died, I'm pretty sure we probably would all know what John Hinckley's middle name was.

Core

FBI Agent

We'd be grateful if you could join us, for a ride, sir.

Josh

And if I were to say no? Just askin'.

FBI Agent

We have no sense of humor.

Josh

It's true.

FBI Agent

And we're armed.

Rat

Okay, if I decide to do this... I'm going to need an unlimited supply... of Xena tapes and Hot Pockets.

General Purcell

Hot Pockets.

Rat

They help me concentrate.

Count of Monte Cristo

Edmond

And if I kill him and refuse to be a smuggler?

Luigi

Then we slit your throat and are a bit short-handed.

Edmond

... I have decided that the life of a smuggler is the one for me and that I would be happy to kill your friend the maggot.

Jacopo

Right. We kill these people, then we spend the treasure.

Edmond

No, we will study them. Learn their weaknesses.

Jacopo

Why not just kill them? I'll do it. I'll run up to Paris... bam, bam, bam, bam! I'm back before week's end. We spend the treaure. How is this a bad plan?

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

Lo

All this trouble for a comb?

Jen

It's mine. It means a lot to me. A barbarian like you wouldn't understand.

Lo

I can use it to pick fleas from my horse.


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