Movie quotes

Oh no! I'm lost! Where's the line? What do I do?

Help!

We'll be stuck forever!

Do not panic, do not panic! We are trained professionals! Now, stay calm. We are going around the leaf.

Around the leaf! I-I-I don't think we can do that.

Oh, nonsense. This is nothing compared to the twig of '93!

One and two and three and four and Wat doesn't lead he follows like a girl.

There's no crying in baseball!

We can do this with or without violence, it's up to you. The client pays our medical bills but not yours. Well?

Oh, without, please.

No, I'm sure you're just a regular guy.

Yeah. I am a regular guy. I'm regular. But that's not the point! Who ... are YOU?

You know, you're just mad because your stupid little pebble theory didn't work out and you don't know how to express your anger.

Yeah? And you're ugly.

No, let me go! I've got tides to regulate! Comets to direct! I don't have time for flatulence and orgasms!

No, no, no, don't tug on that. You never know what it might be attached to.

The only life I saw for the past million miles were the hypnotized bunnies, and most of them are now wedged under the tires.

You murdered 100,000 Iraqis to save a nickel a gallon on gas. Don't lecture me on the rules of war.

It's all part and parcel of the whole genie gig: phenomenal cosmic powers, itty bitty living space.

I am not the man with whom to fuck.

Yeah.

What did you do?

I died.

I'm the ultimate bad-ass! State of the Bad-Ass-R! You don't want to mess with me! Check it out! Independently targeting particle beam phalanx. Fry an entire city with this puppy! We've got tactical smart missiles. Phase plasma pulse rifles, RPGs! We've got sonic electronic ball breakers. We've got nukes, we've got knives... sharp sticks!

It's weird to put bacon on your head and say "I'm Porkboy, the breakfast monkey"

Of course I'm home. I'm always home. I'm uncool.

"My job requires mostly masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble Hell"????

Mine. 1970 Pontiac Firebird. The car I've always wanted and now I have it. I rule!

You kissed him? Where?

On the lips.

And then what happened?

He had to go and attack Libya.

When I see a pretty girl walking down the street, I think two things. One part wants me to be real nice and sweet and treat her right.

And what does the other part think?

What her head would look like on a stick!

I've been kidnapped by the village idiot.

You know, I was going to let you become a part of my most erotic fantasies, but now you can just write it off.

Hey Harry, you know we're sitting on four million pounds of fuel, one nuclear weapon and a thing that has two hundred thousand moving parts built by the lowest bidder. Makes you feel good doesn't it?

Alright, you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my BOOMSTICK! It's a twelve gauge double barreled Remington, S-Mart's top-of-the-line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop Smart. Shop S-mart. Ya got that?! Now I swear, the next one of you primates, even touches me...

My brain is falling out.

You must admit she is rather mannish. Really, if that is a woman she must have been beaten with an ugly stick.

Puny god.

Really? That's it? You just roll over and show your belly, every time somebody snarls?

Only when I've created a murderbot!