Movie quotes
"I can't even eat. The food keeps touching. I like military plates; I'm a military man, I want a military meal. I want my string beans to be quarantined! I like a little fortress around my mashed potatoes so the meatloaf doesn't invade my mashed potatoes and cause mixing in my plate! I HATE IT when food touches! I'm a military man, you understand that? And don't let your food touch either, please?"
These are mostly movie quotes, but there are some quotes from TV shows, as well. I've tried to avoid quotes that require explanation, but there are some that slipped through the cracks (the Worf-Alexander conversation over there in "S," well, you just had to see the episode). They're mostly funny ones, but there's a few more serious ones. Many movies deserve to have their entire script in here, but I've imposed a limit of no more than three from any given source. Enjoy! And please, if you notice an error, please let me know (email address can be found in the Personal section). In the years since IMDB started allowing people to submit quotes, it's gotten harder to find the original wording if you don't own a movie.
"Caution: some quotes contain language." Snicker.
Note : Quotes with their source marked with an * come from something that has been (probably clumsily) translated from Japanese.
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Hackers | |
Cereal Killer |
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. |
Happy Gilmore | |
Virginia |
What's this about you breaking a rake and throwing it in the woods? |
Happy |
I didn't BREAK it, I was merely testing its durability, and I PLACED it in the woods 'cuz it's made of wood and I wanted it to be near its family. |
Happy |
SON OF A BITCH BALL! WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST GO HOME?!?! THAT'S YOUR HOME!! ARE YOU TOO GOOD FOR YOUR HOME?? |
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets | |
Ron Weasley |
Spiders! Why couldn't it have been "follow the butterflies"?? |
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone | |
George Weasley |
He's not Fred, I am. |
Fred Weasely |
Honestly, woman. You call yourself our mother. |
High Fidelity | |
Rob |
I can't fire them. I hired these guys for three days a week and they just started showing up every day. That was four years ago. |
Rob |
WHAT FUCKING IAN GUY?!?! No one in her family is named Ian! None of her friends are called Ian! There is no Ian in her office! I am positive she doesn't know or has ever known anyone named Ian! She lives in an Ian-less universe! |
Rob |
How does an average guy like me become the number one lover man in his particular postal district? |
Hook | |
Lost Boys |
Kill the pirate! |
Peter |
I'm not a pirate! It so happens that I am a lawyer! |
Lost Boys |
Kill the lawyer! |
House | |
House |
Cheese is the devil's plaything. |
Foreman |
Get out of my temporal lobe, House. |
Hudsucker Proxy | |
Norville |
You know, for kids! |