Movie quotes

"I'm not even supposed to be here today!"

These are mostly movie quotes, but there are some quotes from TV shows, as well. I've tried to avoid quotes that require explanation, but there are some that slipped through the cracks (the Worf-Alexander conversation over there in "S," well, you just had to see the episode). They're mostly funny ones, but there's a few more serious ones. Many movies deserve to have their entire script in here, but I've imposed a limit of no more than three from any given source. Enjoy! And please, if you notice an error, please let me know (email address can be found in the Personal section). In the years since IMDB started allowing people to submit quotes, it's gotten harder to find the original wording if you don't own a movie.

"Caution: some quotes contain language." Snicker.

Note : Quotes with their source marked with an * come from something that has been (probably clumsily) translated from Japanese.

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Galaxy Quest

Sir Alexander

I played Richard the Third.

Kwan

"There were five curtain calls."

Sir Alexander

There were five curtain calls. I was an actor once, damn it! Now look at me. Look at me! I won't go out there and say that stupid line one more time!

Gwen DeMarco

Whoever wrote this episode should DIE!

Guy

I'm not even supposed to be here. I'm just "Crewman Number Six." I'm expendable! I'm the guy in the episode who dies to prove how serious the situation is! I've gotta get outta here!

Ghostbusters

Venkman

This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.

Mayor

What do you mean, "biblical"?

Ray

What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor, real wrath-of-God type stuff.

Venkman

Exactly.

Ray

Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies. Rivers and seas boiling.

Egon

Forty years of darkness. Earthquakes, volcanoes...

Winston

The dead rising from the grave.

Venkman

Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria.

Venkman

I'm a little hazy on this good/bad stuff. What exactly is bad?

Egon

Imagine life as you know it stopping instantaneously and all the molecules in your body exploding at the speed of light.

Venkman

That would be bad.

Egon

We'll cross the streams.

Venkman

Excuse me, Egon, you said crossing the streams was bad.

Ray

Cross the streams...

Venkman

You're gonna endanger us; you're gonna endanger our client. The nice lady who paid us in advance before she became a dog.

Egon

Not necessarily. There's definitely a very slim chance we'll survive.

Venkman

I love this plan! I'm excited to be a part of it. Let's do it!

Gladiator

Maximus

At my signal, unleash hell.

Commodus

I call it love, Gracchus. The people are my children, I am their father. I shall hold them to my bosom and embrace them tightly—

Gracchus

Have you ever embraced someone dying of plague, sire?

Commodus

No, but if you interrupt me again, I assure you that you will.

Goldeneye

Alec Trevelyn

Why can't you just be a good boy and die?

James Bond

You first.

Goldfinger

James Bond

Do you expect me to talk?

Goldfinger

No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die!

Good Will Hunting

Skylar

What if I said I wouldn't have sex with you again till I got to meet your friends, what would you say?

Will

It's four-thirty, they're probably still awake.

Gravity

Matt

You never flown the Soyuz either?

Ryan

Only the simulator.

Matt

Then you know!

Ryan

But I crashed it.

Matt

It's a simulator. That's what it's designed for.

Grosse Pointe Blank

Martin

What am I going to say? "I killed the President of Paraguay with a fork. How have you been?" I'm just thinking it'll be depressing.

Mr. Newberry

So what have you been doing with your life?

Martin

Uh... professional killer.

Mr. Newberry

Good for you. It's a growth industry.

Groundhog Day

Phil

I'm betting he's going to swerve first.

Guardians of the Galaxy

Groot

I am Groot.

Drax

Where did you learn to do that?

Peter

I'm pretty sure the answer is: "I am Groot."

Ronan

Citizens of Xandar, behold your "guardians of the galaxy!" What fruit have they wrought?!?

Peter

Ooh, child, things are gonna get easier. Ooh child, things will get brighter. You listen to these words. Ooh child, things are gonna get easier. Ooh child things'll get brighter. Then bring it down hard! Someday...

Ronan

... What are you doing?

Peter

Dance-off, bro. Me and you. ... Gamora?

Gamora

...

Peter

Subtle, taking it back.

Ronan

What are you doing??

Peter

I'm distracting you, you big turd blossom!


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