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Argh. Frustrating how quickly and easily a sense of accomplishment and relief can turn into worthlessness and stress, all by virtue of how long it took to get there. Particularly frustrating given that it wasn't my damn fault that it was taking so long, but knowing that doesn't make me feel any better. I feel like a burden, an annoyance, a failure, and a bunch of other negative crap that's objectively sure to be retarded, but again. That doesn't help a goddamn bit. I should have just stayed at work, by myself, if I was going to do this.

Think   1 Thought


Got my office squared away today, and lo, the last of the boxes remaining from the move have been unpacked. The part that made me the absolute happiest, though, was getting to re-alphabetize my books; my collection sitting in an unsorted shambles for the last two months has been driving me constantly, if lowgrade, batty. Unfortunately, I'm now aware that several of my books are inexplicably missing. Bother. I don't remember having lent them to anyone... but even if they're lost proper, nothing that a used bookstore can't fix.



Today I finally feel as if my house is, if not complete, at least at a pretty good save point. I scored a free (and comfy!) couch from Terri, which helps fill out my living room quite nicely. It's taken some getting used to today to have my living room feel so much smaller, but I'm definitely pleased with the outcome. I unpacked three of the remaining five boxes, and scattered the accessories (candles, sconces, etc.) contained therein throughout the house. It doesn't feel nearly so bare above the mantle in the living room, and having my "stuff" around just puts a smile in my heart. I got Todd to help me put up hooks on my bedroom wall, I hung my bedroom pictures, and finally configured my airport to stream music to my bedroom stereo. It's now much closer to being the parlor I've imagined it to be for months up there.

I may still have an unholy terror of an office to deal with, a kitchen in need of remodeling, and a house in general that needs some sprucing... but this evening, I'm happy with it regardless.




I suppose I was about due for a serious insomnia night. Stressy week and hormones and 5:03 am, oh my.



Tired Jen is tired. I nominate bed.



We intended to go see Ruby Shuz, Bipolar Star, and Silverhawk play at the High Dive tonight, but Brandon was a poopyhead and forgot to let me know they were going on an hour earlier than originally planned, so Todd and I were eating over at Dad Watson's for the entire hour that Ruby Shuz was rocking the house. Boooo! Boooo, I say! Bipolar Star was meh, as last time, but I do <3 me some Silverhawk, and that they topped off their set with "Speaking in Tongues," or as Brandon and I call it, "The Monkey Noises Song," totally made my night. My weird inverted week may be tiring a lot of the time, but I very much adore going out to see live music, particularly when I know the bands involved.

Also, I'm caught up on my internet (not my A/V internets, but at least my text internets) for the first time in what feels like days. I'm not sure exactly what is happening to my time the last few weeks, but it seems to not be going towards reading teh intarwebs, playing KoL, or watching TV. It's been over a week since I watched any TV at all, and over a month since I watched any significant amount of it. Human interaction? Holy crap!

Zoggins is likely going to go down, and probably for good, when Chris moves back to the proper side of the mountains in the next month or so. I need to finally go grab laeren.net and figure out some hosting shizbang that will, at a minimum, let me parse .css files for php and have mysql going. Bleah. BLEAH. I am not looking forward to this business.



Delicious dinner had tonight of leftover pot roast (from Monday), chicken/artichoke stroganoff (from Saturday), and Greek/Turkish meatballs (from Thursday). I think we can safely say that I'm off the impromptu depression-fueled anorexia thing. Unfortunately, I rather like where my weight got to, so I should probably start paying attention to wtf I'm doing here if I'd like to keep it. The last month has been a lovely rebound off of a long dark slope, but no need to to bounce off it into the stratosphere or anything.

Maybe I should buy a scale? On the one hand, it'd be nice to actually know if I should stress out about this or not, rather than just assuming I should. On the other hand, it's rather nice to not be chained to some readout of numbers. I've not had a scale around since... oh goodness, I don't remember when. I feel like there was one in the house I shared with Jim, but I'm not sure I've had one since. Maybe I shouldn't lightly give up a good three years of not paying attention to such things.

In other news, I had a long damn day where I at least managed to get some stuff done. I'm tired. So there.

Think   1 Thought


Oh man. Jeffie and I both took the day off today, and spent it slaving in the kitchen for hours making some fucking awesome pot roast. Normally we avoid making such things, even on cooking nights, because they require things like, oh, salting a roast for an hour and then cooking it for nearly three. It turned out simply delectable, though, particularly with mashed potatoes and by votes of not only us but Todd and Fool and Jenya. It's so very novel to have space and a table that I can seat five around (even if we just barely had room, the important part is that we did have room).

And I finally bought a damn microwave. It's been two full months of walking food downstairs to nuke in the Fool's kitchenette, after all; it was time to sort things out. Contractors are all paid off and I'm hopefully getting a free (possibly ugly, but FREE) couch from a co-worker, so the house appears to finally be equilibriating. Thank christ.



I obviously haven't gotten the hang of this new pace of life thing. But damnit, /tht/ is such a good steam vent, even if it's only obviously toast and tired, I need to remember to actually take advantage of it.

It doesn't help that the days that I could have used a steam vent, I wasn't feeling in a position to write anything, and the day that I'm feeling up to writing was... well... just a damn good day. I got some new furniture, a haircut, some time to read; I made a ferociously good dinner and got Todd to watch some Venture Brothers. It was sunny. Ladro had quiche. I had a kind of crappy week and today pretty much made up for it except that I didn't get to play down my KoL turns (oh noes!).

I am pleased.



Actually getting to do my real work has been so novel that I'm not really sure what to do with myself at work. I think I was productive today... I think. Maybe? Anyway, I'm looking forward to things settling down some. I maintained as many habits as I could the last couple weeks, but inevitably, stuff fell apart and now I don't feel quite like me.

Plus this boy thing has me all distractikated.




Loooooong week. Very tired. Toast is awesome, particularly if I can have some after I migrate bedwards and SLEEP.



Tonight was the delivery of Mama's birthday present: going out to see Gogol Bordello at the Showbox Sodo. It was most excellent, and we rocked the fuck out. I think I may have avoided breaking myself, but just barely (it was almost inhaler time, so I went *whoosh* out back to the bar and my mother). Mama was full of glee, and we danced with much silliness, and it was good. Even if they played the longest encore ever. I'm going to strive to remember that I had a damn good time.



The secret is out at work as of tonight that I'm dating someone in our partner team. Eep. I feel pretty damn funny about the whole near-to-my-job business, but on the other hand, I'm pleased as punch to be dating Todd, as I happen to think he's a pretty stand up guy. Even if his car is way beyond silly, but what would a relationship with Jen be if one didn't have something for her to mock?

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Bleh. Today was wildly iffy, as was yesterday. This weekend does not recommend itself.

But guest-starring in Colin's D&D podcast was at least amusing!



So I slept in until 10:15, which was glorious, but of course that put me back on my normal schedule, meaning that it's 1:45 and I'm just getting sleepy, but I have to catch a bus at 8:37 tomorrow am, and that's just not awesome. Run on sentences for the WIN, I tell you! I wouldn't have to leave my house until more like 9:30 if I weren't boycotting my car at the moment, but the brake pads seem to have worn down to nothing, and a skippy stop yesterday has made me not want to drive it at all until it gets fixed. Which will not be for quite a bit, so for now it's just idling at work. Because I'd rather have it stopped, gathering dust and birdshit there, than have it not stopping. With me in it.



(dancing) Presentation is DONE. There's more demo'ing, and things to finish before these two weeks are over, but the major stress is off.

And glory fucking be, I can sleep to a reasonable time in the morning. Ideally one that has two digits before the :. I cannot fucking wait.



I need to figure out how to integrate into this whole new schedule thing. Mama got the news today, and is, shall we say, interested in developments. I guess I had to give her hope at some point after over a year of drought. Anyway, I'm tipsy, in the nice sort of way that's helping to erase my largely crappy 12 hour day (which did have a pho high point, thanks, Zach!), and also in the way that I am reminded to /tht/ (totally a verb) but not actually be compelled to write anything of worth.

Duty, she is done! And I wonder why duty is female.

Think   1 Thought