Invasion of my visual space, and thoughts resulting
(October 5, 1999)
As I walked to class yesterday, an orange sign caught my eye. "Genocide Photos Ahead," it proclaimed, in huge, black, blocky letters. I'd read something in the Daily about it while standing in line for coffee; an anti-abortion group (the Center for Bio-Ethical Reform) was going to have a pictoral exhibit in Red Square, linking abortion to genocide. I knew I didn't want to see it, but that same gruesome curiosity that slows traffic past an accident snapped my head to the side when I walked past.
Two vertical layers of pictures. Thirteen feet tall over all. Blown up images of corpses, masses of flesh pulled apart with arrows pointing to tiny fetuses, blood... so much blood. Once upon a time, I was not squeamish. Yesterday, I wanted to sit down and put my head between my knees.
I generally support the right to free speech, expression, et. al. I may not agree with it, but that doesn't make me right, nor imply that it shouldn't be said. I discovered yesterday, however, that I draw the line at aggressively pushing ideas on people in such a manner as intended to sicken and shock them. Sorry, I'm just no Voltaire.
I know how terrible abortion can be; I've studied it, for my own edification. Terrible yes; wrong, no, at least in my opinion. My opinion may not be "right" in the greater sense of reality, but my paradigm is my paradigm, not anyone else's.
The demonstrators' point was that abortion is a dehumanizing "murder," with all the negative connotations that word suggests. My attitude? A killing, perhaps. But if so, just as justified and merciful as that of a wounded soldier who begs his mates to kill him out of "mercy." "Stories," might be the reply to that, "just romantic stories." Or, "that's different, the soldier has life experience, the knowledge to choose."
I am sorry. I will not bring a child into a world/life where it will be neglected because I'm not ready to be a capable mother. I will not a curse a child with the life I would be giving it if I had it at this point in my life, or if I were 13, or if I were drug-addicted. I will not sentence a child to that life, with no security, comfort, or value. From a selfish standpoint, I will not ruin my life in that manner, nor sentence myself to the guilt I would feel knowing that I had done such a thing to someone.
In my belief... Better to wait, little one. Have a life where you are wanted, cherished, supported. We will wait for you together, you and I.
And totally without permission, I'm choosing to reprint a letter to the Daily regarding the exhibit:
Twenty-six years ago, the Supreme Court upheld a woman's right to choose to end her pregnancy. The average number of abortions performed in the United States prior to the Roe decision is estimated to be around 1,000,000 per year.
The average number of abortions performed in the United States for the past ten years has hovered around a million. What's the difference? The difference is that women no longer have to die to exercise autonomy over their own lives.
There are no longer wards in hospitals, designated "infected OB," for survivors of illegal abortions. Women do not die on the floors f motel rooms, alone and terrified, because they chose not to bear a child. We do not pay exorbitant amounts of money to people who may or may not be qualified to perform an abortion and hope that we won't die on the operating table.
Roe may or may not be a good legal decision; according to your own beliefs it may or may not have been an ethical one. But what Roe has done is save thousands of women each year from death and infertility. That cannot be disputed.
As a former employee of an abortion clinic, I've seen hundreds of women who wanted to end their pregnancies. I have held their hands, I have watched them cry and I have seen the relief on their faces after the abortion was over. I cannot believe that anyone can characterize the decision as easy or lightly taken; I also cannot believe that anyone can decide that decision is anyone's to make besides the pregnant woman.
For 26 years, American women have not had to choose between a child they could not raise and a high risk of death. For 26 years we have been able to make decisions in our lives that allow us to choose when to have the joy of a wanted pregnancy.
What CBR seeks to do is not to reduce the number of abortions. Abortion rates have remained essentially the same for 40 years. What CBR seeks to do is return to the days of the back alley abortionist using lye douches and coat hangers, when women died alone and afraid.
Who's de-humanizing now?
Meghan Eagen
post-baccalaureate, nursing